You are not right.
The anonymous bot script is correct: I am not right. My left ear has been ringing since the beginning of the school year. It’s not always at the same volume or frequency: at its best, it feels like I’m wearing half of a headset that’s tuned to a white noise station, and at its worst, it’s waves of cicada-song, which would be soothing if it didn’t sound like someone had digitized the sample badly.
I did a hearing test last week. The results pointed to nerve damage (everything’s structurally sound, and my right ear’s in great shape), and I’ve been set up with a MRI for the coming week to see if we can determine where the damage is located within the ear and get a better idea of what can be done about this, if anything.
Yes, I am spinning some, but just some. There’s too much else to do to get wound up over something I can’t do anything about (at least not yet).
The writing accountability experiment is in full swing. The workout accountability experiment continues. The first class of the winter session has started. And there’s work, which generally does let me sleep more these days. Generally.
Having all of the alternatives
And a sense of joyful preoccupation,
This coming year will be
A mischief-maker of strategies
To salvage you to improved discern.
-12.29.2017, #SpamFortuneCookie, which doesn’t sound good, and probably isn’t.
Happy Almost New Year. I settled on FocusWriter. It only took me a week of evaluating the pros and cons. This is progress.
started an up to date Web project
started an unusual cobweb throw
started to update spider’s web
evil seems a completed thought
-12.13.2017, latest #spampoetry
This blogpost brought to you by the letter P, for Pause between Competing Projects That I Need To Get Done Tonight. Pause. Not procrastination. Really!1
As I’ve mentioned, I finished my Goodreads Challenge six months early. So, here’s where I am with my reading at the beginning of December. After I raised the hurdle two whole books from last year, I cleared it by a 150% percent. Holy fish.
Week of 11/5 in Sagittarius: The poem that is written about the sun is waiting for you, but you have to write it.
Astro Poets (@poetastrologers), 11:41 pm, November 5th.
Write it? Ah, no. However, I was able to scrape one together out of spam.
much elegance neglected
decay winding a peculiar
convinced it was mistaken
breathing on all these dirty windows
fogging them blind gold
-11.6.2017, posted today, because I’m trying to psych myself up for tackling my statistics homework by taking care of random things that I didn’t get to during the week1, and I found this sitting in my drafts folder along with another draft post that I just decided to delete.
1The past few weeks have seen me unable to get to my homework until the weekend, chiefly because my body likes human normal amounts of sleep, and my brain’s beginning to (reluctantly) concede that (maybe) it’s not an idiot.
It’s a rattling nice place.
After my altered engagement
Truly programming is nothing
However it’s a logic
That does not come to me.
-The latest #spampoetry
I had a thought that I wanted to write down, but I lost it somewhere between homework and reloading the dishwasher and dozing off in front of American Ninja Warrior. It’ll come to me tomorrow, most likely during a round of questioning my life choices, otherwise known as running behind a middle school cross country team. I’ll find it. Eventually.
I still haven’t finished the sweater. To be honest, I haven’t worked on it at all. I was going to during the last two episodes of The Expanse, but I was so fried when I watched them that I didn’t need anything to do with my hands. American Gods debuted recently, so maybe I’ll get the sweater done when I get around to watching the episodes.
If that doesn’t work out, there’s always hope that it’ll happen during Suits or Killjoys — assuming I manage to watch the new seasons when they come on. To be honest, it’s rare that I watch more than one season of a series, and not unusual that I stop watching one right before it gets to a season ending cliffhanger. Pretty sure that would have happened with Season One of House of Cards if @bhoneydew and I hadn’t just binged it one weekend while we were sick.
I haven’t seen any episodes after that, even though I enjoyed House of Cards very much. I just can’t get myself in the right frame of mind to invest the time.
I’m still not sure what’s happening with my Goodreads reading challenge. Despite everything that’s going on1, I’m still way ahead of the curve. If I succeed in my devious Mother’s Day plan to read all day (after I finish my homework) and not look at anything work-related, I may even finish it!
1I’ve been working 50-hourish weeks for the past three weeks, while juggling my night class, Momming and this weird new peace with eating right and working out. Sadly, the good sleep habit I’ve been trying to cultivate did go right out the window — notice when I’m working on this? — but I’ve been cranky about that instead of just resigned2 so there’s hope for me yet.
2I haven’t been working on any creative projects. Seriously, the time I’d ordinarily put to that, I’ve been trying to put toward household foo. It’s not that I’m avoiding creative projects, it’s just that the household foo needs to be dealt with. It’ll get better. Eventually.
Today at work, I followed up with someone I exchanged email with on Friday, and suddenly they no longer exist. As of the end of March.
I’m about 80% sure I didn’t make this person up, so it was surprising.
-Me, @shainorton, five days ago.
I’ve been busy. This quite possibly surprises you not at all.
I haven’t yet finished the sweater. I did finish:
- another book (The Book of Etta, Meg Elison’s sequel to The Book of the Unnamed Midwife, making two more books that I have read recently that are actually recent, who hoo!).
- multiple homework assignments and a midterm.
- my gigantic pile of transcripts evaluated for another academic program, which, assuming I can fit everything into the schedule, I should finish in a year and change.
- a large work project (in very little time), and multiple smaller work projects (in less time)
- a work transition, but I’m more than eighty percent certain that work has not yet finished its side of the transition.1
- transferring my cell phone to another phone and another carrier, like I’ve been putting off for over half a year now.
- a blog post. This one. In twenty-five minutes, as planned. YAY!
1This doesn’t bother me; I’ve yet to have a job or even a gig where things didn’t change. There have even been a couple of occasions where they changed on my very first day. I started an engineering internship once, and got swapped into a human resources administrator role before I could put my lunch into the break room fridge. My first analyst job for a government contractor saw me pivoted into corporate business development on Day One — I never set foot on the site of the client I was initially hired for during my entire time with that company.2,3
2I’ve been told there’s a disconnect between reading my resume and talking to me. Can’t count for you how many times people have told me “You’re not what I expected.” I’m never sure how to take that. Are they smiling because they’re delighted or because they’re worried that if they upset me I’m going to manifest some hidden superpowers that involve, oh, wide area disintegration?
3“Why didn’t you say no, Shai? Don’t you care about what you do for a living?” Frankly, no, as long as the money’s good, the scenery changes, and they let me use explosive — er, no, I mean to say if my paychecks clear, I get to solve problems, and it doesn’t require me to make someone else coffee. See, I have a problem making coffee before I’ve had coffee. Sometimes, it’s not even coffee, more hot water tinted brown from whatever residue was left in the coffee maker after I cleaned out the old grounds and failed to replace them with fresh. Or it’s water on top of a thick layer of sludge because I scooped the grounds into the coffee pot instead of the machine. Don’t get me started on what can happen when I have to use a Keurig in the morning…