Once I finish the remaining sleeve, I will have crocheted my first sweater.
– Me, March 27, 2017, “Throw”
I haven’t yet finished the sweater.
– Me, April 17, 2017, “Eighty Percent Chance of Getting Stuff Done”
I still haven’t finished the sweater. To be honest, I haven’t worked on it at all.
– Me, May 14, 2017, “Ninety Percent Thresholds”
I still haven’t finished the sweater.
– Me, June 23, 2017, “One Hundred Percent Standard Deviations”
Who knows, I might even finish that sweater this year.
– Me, September 2, 2017, “=NVL(Number,24)”
The sweater I’ve been working on is still in the bag piled beside the entertainment center, waiting for me to finish that sleeve.
– Me, December 14, 2017, “Escapades in Escapism”
The new season of The Orville started on the 30th. Finding myself without a craft project to work on in front of the television for the first time since football season started, and feeling pretty good about myself for finishing all of the ones I’d planned to get done by Christmas, I convinced myself to fish that sleeve out of the bag piled beside the entertainment center and finish it.
I finished the sleeve, dug out the rest of the pieces, seamed the shoulders together, and…
The aggressively asymmetrical sweater.
This is supposed to be a “Cozy Shell” that falls at the waist. If I seamed the sides, it would fit me like a caftan, and as you can see here, the absolute shortest the hem gets is mid-thigh.
I can’t remember what I was thinking while I was making this. I’m not convinced I was thinking while I was making this.
I considered blocking the sweater to see if I could straighten it out, but I concluded the only thing that would help is wrapping it around a concrete block and throwing it into a deep dark hole.
Perhaps it will be happier as dishcloths, or a couple of blankets for the hypothetically eventual dog to shed all over and shred into yarn confetti.
On the bright side, now that I know the limit of how badly I can screw up crocheting a sweater, shouldn’t my next attempt be better?
Aasymptotic is my trying to describe being in the opposite state as asymptotic — that is, becoming less precise as a variable approaches a limit, instead of more so.