My husband got a new car on Friday. I didn’t go with him to his test drive, so he was itching for me to go for a ride in it or take it out for a drive all weekend.
Okay, not itching. Neither one of us has been excited about driving anywhere for a while. He thinks ten years, though I think it’s a bit less than that: we were still taking random long drives for a couple of years after we moved to Northern Virginia. These days? Nah. I generally don’t leave the house unless I have a specific reason to do so (and a parking or VRE/Metro plan if it’s going to be east of Centreville). I am working on having more specific reasons. 1
I relented yesterday afternoon, but not for a long drive; just down to the grocery store to pick up a few things that should have been on my list earlier in the week. The car handled great, I didn’t question any life choices while getting it into a parking space (though my side-seat driver did critique my alignment within the space), and it didn’t explode, which was a nice bonus. It’s an electric car, fortunately not an assholic one, and it’s a lease return, so I wasn’t morally obligated to say do you realize that we could buy an entire house where you and I grew up for what this thing costs?2 What more could I possibly want from a car?
TH: You should get the app.
Me: What app?
TH: The one for the car.
Me: It has an app?
TH: It has an app.
Me: Why?
I didn’t get the app. I might get the app. I’m pretty sure if I do, I’ll stick it in the “Utilities” folder on my phone and forget I have it.
Why?
I don’t think I’ll use it. While I suppose it’s nice to be able to start the car up during the rare times I’ll use it and have it heat up or cool down before I get in, I can’t see myself refactoring my leave-the-house, leave-the-grocery-store, or leave-wherever plans so that I remember that step. And use my phone as my key? Call me silly and Luddite or whatever, but no. At least not yet. What happens if another app hangs in the background and silently blocks my phone’s ability to use Bluetooth or cell service?3
Maybe I’ll change my mind about that in another five years or so. Not that I’ve changed my mind in the past five years about installing and using the app for my ovens. Yes, my ovens are connected to the Internet, and they have an app. When I think about it, it’s still the most ridiculous idea ever. Also, It Is A Pain In The Ass To Have Bread Proofing Interrupted By A Software Update And Reboot Annnnd Don’t Get Me Started About The Stunning Lack of Sense Demonstrated By Scheduling an Update on Thanksgiving Day.
[Seriously, the oven manufacturer knew it was U.S. Thanksgiving. The touchscreen even had turkey and pie-themed rotating wallpapers.
We now fry our turkeys, and I have backup Thanksgiving baking plans.]
Yesterday, I also got to the “add blog link to Instagram” task on my to-do list.
Me: Okay, let’s get this over with…
Me: …I can’t do this through a browser.
Me: …I have to get the app.
Me: Why?
I did get the app. I linked the blog to my Instagram, closed the app, got back into Instagram via a browser, verified that the blog link was still there in my profile, then deleted the app from my phone.
Why?
See Footnote #3: previous experiences have convinced me not to keep the Facebook or Messenger apps on my phone. Also, I prefer composing posts of any kind (including these) in a browser on my desktop computer. It forces me to upload my photos, but that reminds me to double-check them to see what information’s being included. My wonderful LG UltraWide monitor also makes it easier for me to see if there’s anything in the background that I want to crop out.
TL: DNR; I’m tech-cantankerous.
And my next ovens, universe willing, will not be smart, just functional.
- On that note, my son’s final evaluation went about as suspected. He has a meeting in two weeks to discuss next steps. ↩︎
- We didn’t grow up in the same part of the country, but they do have several things in common. ↩︎
- If this sounds like I have had the displeasure of experiencing this on multiple occasions: that’s a correct impression. ↩︎
Modus Dementi 