No Love For Robots

Oh, hey, the spammers found me again.

i see your website needs some fresh & unique content
writing manually is time consuming
[trust me]
[you will love your robot masters]
please help me to rank my website for some toys
[after you load this operating system atop yours]
[trust me]

-the latest #spampoetry

The spammers are right on two counts.

One,  I should stop talking about my laundry.

(Freaking laundry.)

Two, speaking of robots, I feel the need to vent some about Political Survey Calls.

We’ve gotten so many at home (we live in a county that CNN featured heavily in the last Presidential election) that I’m now cringing whenever I see a Caller ID pop up on the house phone that I don’t recognize.  If the number is flagged as Anonymous or Unknown or Out Of Area, I don’t answer the phone at all.

It’s not so much that I don’t like answering questions about my political beliefs1, it’s that I don’t like not being able to answer questions about my political beliefs. Every single telephone surveyor I’ve had this election season has handed me a set of answers to choose from, like so:

SURVEYOR:  Do you support [Issue A]?

ME:  In what aspect?  I am okay with [A-1], think we could do a better job with
[A-2], and [A-3]? [A-3] just doesn't make any sense, even from a political
mercenary standpoint...

SURVEYOR: So is that a yes or a no?

ME: Uh. Let's say yes. I really am okay with [A-1]. I'd also like to see
[added feature]. This is something we are already doing in [other issue area]
and it is having a positive impact...

SURVEYOR: You said you support [Issue A]. Is it because of [Politician]'s work
in [A-3]?

ME: Did I not just say that I didn't think [A-3] made any sense?

SURVEYOR: [Politician] is looking out for [perceived social group:  since I'm a
middle-aged woman, this is usually 'families']...

ME: Interesting. Are you going to ask me what I think of [Politician]'s work
in [other issue area]? Because I'm pretty sure that's not what you're looking
for in a candidate who is looking out for [perceived social group].  Did someone
actually vet this individual, or was this more of a 'so and so can raise
a buttload of money and be the loudest dog in the park' scenario?

SURVEYOR: Ma'am?

ME:  Loud Dog Phenomenon. It's like a squeaky wheel, but ... okay, Google's 
now telling me nobody's ever published an article about that, so maybe I just made
it up, sorry, but ... it's from Dilbert, sort of, when Dogbert decides he 
can get what he wants just by making a lot of noise. 

SURVEYOR: I ... see.  So, is that a 'no'?

1Like my religious beliefs, my political beliefs have never neatly fit into a single easily-labeled box, so I tend not to talk about what’s in that box.  It’s just better that way, as I’m sure most of the political surveyors who have called me would agree.

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