Catching Up

Appreciating the persistence you put into your site.

-the latest #spamcommentary

What I Am Saying:

Hahahahahahahaha.

So, February sucked.

March was a little better. I’m getting into the groove with the new full time gig (which appeared out of the middle of nowhere while I was fighting fires the week I got back from Mom’s funeral1): put two large projects to bed before I headed back to Arkansas to help my sister do triage on Mom’s stuff, and managed to take care of a small project while I was doing that triage. There are still lingering embers from the early February fires, but hopefully hopefully they’ll be burned out by some point in April. Of course, I said that to myself about the fires in December. And the ones in September. And the ones last April. And the ones in December 2014.

I dropped my PL/SQL refresher. I was doing well in it — in the interests of full disclosure, I’m only taking it because the PL/SQL class I had didn’t transfer — but life had decided not to cooperate with my wanting to take a class on Tuesday nights. On that note, I haven’t looked at a single lecture for the Coursera bio class I signed up for. Not. A. Single. One. Nope. I’ll get things figured out eventually, or at least enough to fake it.

What I Am Not Saying:

As a child, I did science
To contain and explain
Madness
I wanted to be more
Than flesh and bone,
Hormones and hysteria
I knew … like I knew everything
That logic could
Let me leap out of the mud
Allowing me to fly
Through even God’s fingers

It did.

In college, science didn’t want me
I was too mad to love
My logic all circumstantial,
Conditional,
Anecdotal
Poetry was a better fit
But I knew … like I still knew everything
That poetry could
Starve me so much
That my meat and its needs
Would betray me
Crushing me back into the dirt

I did not give it that chance.

In adulthood, I have said
I am not that
I was this instead
I do not do that
I said
I did this instead
And I will be
And I was someone else
And I will do
And I did something else
But in truth, I have just done
Only what a bee does
Fading flower to brighter flower to next flower
But dumping my cargo
So I won’t be forced to land

There is no more ground to fear now
And I am no longer as certain of the sky
Or that I know anything.


 

1Yeah, I did see it as a sign.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s